Well… in my last blog, I told you I had written a children’s book.
I also said it was going to be released on Crowdfunder.
Step one: ⇃
Step two: ⇃
Step three: PANIC!!!!!
Okay. It isn’t *quite* that bad but, my goodness, the anxiety before I shared and those first moments before someone donated, the butterflies in my stomach were nauseous from the amount of fluttering!
It’s an odd concept, really. Many years ago, the thought of putting myself “out there” so much would have not been a thought to entertain. Having spent much of my life being ridiculed and criticised, I felt vulnerable enough; there was no way I was going to draw attention to myself and give people more reason to tell me how rubbish I am.
Yet, all these years later, I’m doing exactly that.
I’m sharing a story that others will read. They could judge it. They could criticise it. They could tell me they hate it. No matter how much I have moved on in my life, these thoughts have been waking me up in the night; thankfully, I’m on medication to help me sleep so the thoughts don’t keep me awake for long. But they’re there.
Not only am I asking people to buy the book, I’m asking them to buy it months before it will be printed. I am asking people to believe that it will be a good story.
It’s scary.
It’s also wonderful!
I have stepped outside of my comfort zone and I am creating something not many people I know have done. I’m creating something that I thought would only ever be a dream. And I am seeing that people believe in me, my CIC, and my ability to write.
I’ve only just worked out how to see the supporters of the project on Crowdfunder, and the comments that are being left (I can be a tad slow with technical stuff 😉 ) Oh my! The comments! They definitely brought joyful tears to my eyes! It’s been wonderful to read comments from friends; messages of support and encouragement. And, beautifully, messages from people that live with disabilities, either in themselves or in their family, saying how important it is to have positive representation.
That makes me very happy. I knew that is what I wanted to do but I was concerned others might not think it was a good idea. People DO think it’s a good idea!
Representation really does matter.
So, have I told you? I’ve written a book; it’s available to buy in advance on Crowdfunder; and I have stepped out of my comfort zone (again!) and I am ready to make this happen.
If you would like to support this campaign, the Crowdfunder link is here: https://crowdfunder.co.uk/where-are-we-going-childrens-book